Sister, there may be a time when you feel your blood burning hot with rage and disillusionment. A confusion swirling like an ancient tornado in the depths of your belly. In the great arcane cycles, there are messages of death recurring.
It may have before been blissful waves when each moment felt like making love with divine essence in the form of sweet raindrops or the sensual caress of the wind. It may have been like reaching a wicked height of bliss only to reach the top of the tower and find yourself leaning over the edge pleading for death of that part of you that has somehow once again awoken.
Know that as you open to your intuitive gifts, you must burn away what no longer serves you, by the guidance of the Dark Goddess. Your psychic awakening is real, and these thoughts and urges and rage and terror may belong to a wounded you of smaller dimensions. This is no tragedy but a deep desire to nurture and care for the world at large. It may be born of the clear vision of the collective wound. It may not be yours at all. Dear sister, you have the power to discern what is yours and what is not, what needs your attention and what does not, even more so now.
There may be a time when you have done so much work, dug so deep into the graveyard of your ancient self that you reach the corpses of old lifetimes and it rattles you to the core. It has you trembling and moving almost weightlessly through the crowds of people as you float in a dreamlike daze through the streets, memories pricking you like thorns.
All of the healing and all of the rituals leverage you into a new paradigm and so you are brought face to face with the Dark Goddess, to merge with the cauldron of transformation.
Do you think it is painless for the caterpillar to dissolve into liquid essence and reform into the winged butterfly? It is decidedly heroic and frighteningly similar to art. This is you sister, melting down your very essence and swimming in the swampy madness which has you temporarily blinded.
You have chosen this with each ecstatic dance into freedom and you have been endowed this with each purifying cycle of moon mourning. It is a summoning for you to remember the capacity you have to serve and rebirth over and over again. It is to remind you of your ability to reach and move through thresh holds of pain that so many spend their life hiding from. Maybe for a long time you did too. Maybe you hid in every stimulating way possible and now you are choosing to feel, to feel the burning pain. This is why you are here. This is why you have come so fucking far.
When the time is ripe, she will initiate you. Know that it is this sister and receive it as a blessing. You are not lost, and you are not ever going back to who you used to be. The burning is real. The memory of burning is real. Only this time, you burn by choice. You have the choice to burn away what no longer serves you, to stare with wild hair into the black eyes of death, tongue aimed toward the earth and screaming. Scream and rage and cry for all of humanity, for all of your sisters. For all of your ancestors. Let the fear move through you and drink it like an elixir because you sister, are the sacred alchemist, the reclaimed sorceress, the wild womban and the many manifest faces of the Goddess.
It will be painful. It will be like crawling into a cave and curling up into a fetal position naked and vulnerable nearly suffocating in your own tears. It will be a remembrance of when your soul first entered into the womb of your mother and you were nourished by her pain, her joy, her shape-shifting nature... and her mother and her mother and her mother and the Great Mother. It will be a deep mourning and a desperate moment in the cemetery. It will be a deafening roar so ferocious it pierces like a dagger through the veil of the twisted conditioned paradigm. It will be a momentary nightmare like those of your youth, like those of your childhood when the scarabs of ancient Egypt came to devour your body in your sleep. It will be an anxiety that has you gasping for air and wanting to beat your fists into the ground, a divine tantrum of epic proportions.
It will be a spiritual death.
She is angry. You are angry.
THAT IS OKAY.
As the sacred feminine you know innately that this too, is a cycle, that this too will pass. You are being blessed with a sacred mission, an initiation by the Dark Goddess.
You may simply be ready to meet her as you never have before. She is Kali, Lilith, Hekate, Persephone, Innana, Morrigan. She is the shadow side of the Maiden, Mother and Crone. She is the dark by the light of the moon, the necessary acknowledgement of the underbelly of life.
Sister, you are becoming a channel of transmutation for the planetary trauma. There is so much time for love and nurturing and so there is also time for sacred rebellion.
It may be time for you to step forward for battle, to invoke the will to war and sovereignty by claiming your raven wings. You have all of the tools you need. You have done this before. Your weapons and armor appear at your command sister. It is time to take back the night time, your dreamscapes, your womb space and your psychic nature.
Know that in doing so you may be thrown unexpectedly from the tower. You may be thrust into the arms of the Dark Goddess. The walk through the underworld may be long and arduous but it is as necessary as the luminous walk through the heavens. In fact, it will only lead you into further reaches of love than you ever thought were possible. It will only lead you into even greater states of full body, mind, and spirit orgasmic bliss and gratitude and forgiveness, and the abundant fruits of all of your great work will forever be in infinite supply.
This is for you to hold as treasure in your heart, to know this is all for a sacred cause that you may share with all of the world. Know that if you are brought to meet her, it is an honor and an initiation into a greater understanding of the divine feminine mysteries. She will know when you are ready.