Sometimes our lives spiral so far out of control, we find that all at once, everything comes to a complete stop before our eyes. You know those times, when disillusionment hits? All of the dreaming and planning and fantasizing hits a wall and suddenly does not seem so possible at all.
I’m sure many of us have gone through similar situations, when we hit this wall of pain, struggling to breathe and nauseous with panic.
All sorts of emotions arise, such as anger, fear, sadness, anxiety, grief, terror, hopelessness and hate. This shock creates an internal tornado of fury and confusion so immense that the wall ahead can’t even bear the intensity and fiery blasts cause it to explode wrathfully into a million pieces of rubble!
How could life be so unfair? We thought we were doing our part on the healing path, putting out the good energy as much as we could, and really trying our best to make everything work.
Whether it was a bad breakup, the betrayal of a friend, the loss of a job or home, struggles with finances and especially if this all happens at once, my oh my, the whirlwind of feeling is intense!
So how do we cope during these times with everything comes crashing down and for a brief period it seems almost impossible to recover.
Well first of all, breathe. Deep breaths, with intention can make an incredible difference during times of panic and stress. Meditate, especially when we don’t feel like it.
Allowing ourselves to be present with all of these feelings is very important as well. Through acceptance of the authenticity of feeling pain, and allowing ourselves to be okay with it, we take back our power and sovereignty. Eventually, the pain begins to fade as it loses its power, and there is room to see a greater depth in the experience.
We may be tempted to seek revenge in certain circumstances, but it’s just not the answer! We can get an even better sense of fulfillment by being so damn epic in the new version of ourselves that by then the rest is forgotten anyway.
In these moments, it is most important to remember that the wall that we recently destroyed with all of our anger and rage is now a pile of material to rebuild the most incredible vision of our life however we want. There may even be an unexpected door just behind that wall that absolutely could not have been seen before past all of the resistance and culmination of things that simply weren’t aligning.
Taking one step at a time is especially effective when concern for our future arises. We can focus on rebuilding with a couple pieces of rubble first, before trying to tackle an entire castle all at once. What can we do today that will make us feel good?
Spending time around people who truly inspire us is also a great way to uncover our own inner peace and wisdom. It may be tempting in these times to hide away from the world, or to associate with others who will affirm this pain back to us, however seeking out those who lead a great example of joy and fulfillment in their lives can actually be very healing. What kind of perspectives are they embodying that allows a more empowering life experience?
Writing or making art even when it feels like there is no inspiration beyond the pain, will often reveal the most honest and raw beauty, yielding not only an enthralling creation but empowerment in out own sense of well being. Some of the greatest art in the world was born out of sheer madness.
It helps to look at the big picture as well. There are so many people out there who don’t even have food, water, shelter or the basic necessities to survive. There are those suffering from disease and in the midst of war or natural disasters as well. Looking deep inside for appreciation for the things that we do have can be very powerful. We can be grateful for a glass of water.
Cleansing our body, mind and spirit can be most effective at this time as well. Hey, if we already feel too sick from the circumstances to eat, why not do a cleanse!? Proper nourishment, exercise (especially yoga) and even wild spontaneous dance can calm and lighten our spirit as well as clear the vessel and the vision for greater awareness through the processing. Practice positive affirmations even when there is only a crack of space for them amidst the particularly hyper monkey mind.
Basically, let’s do all the things we really don’t feel like doing.
When everything falls apart, it can be a profound opportunity to take this out pour of energy that is struggling to find direction to flow, and channel it towards something we have always wanted to do. Maybe there is a project that has been brewing in the back of our minds, a place we’ve always wanted to go, a risk we’ve always wanted to take, or a person we always thought was pretty cute!?
It is a time to take advantage of all of the empty space. We can paint any image we like on the blank canvas. We can build a castle (in time) out the fallen rubble. We can write any story, poem or song into reality.
Having patience with ourselves and trust in the universe that yes, truly, all of this is happening for a reason. When the time comes, forgiveness is incredibly powerful as well. Forgiveness towards ourselves and to anyone else we may be holding onto some resentment towards.
Be open to receive the lessons, the guidance, and the infinite love of the universe.
Pain makes warriors. Pain brings awareness. Love the pain, and it will lose its power. And above all, let’s love ourselves first.
So, when the flow isn’t flowing, something incredibly difficult happens, pain arises, and the wall appears, let’s smash it down! Let’s feel everything, and then celebrate all of the new material we have to create absolutely anything we want.