My heart is now the bubbling spring, activated by the sensual touch of the divine caressing my feet. Surrounded by a pink glow, effervescent hues adorn my crown. The sparkle of new life encircles my womb, a birthing understood in truth only by the witness. Just as the great cobra sheds its skin, it rises erect in full-bodied empowerment, hooded with ferocious eyes, dancing seductively. The masculine and feminine smile with a passionate kiss. This is radiant unconditional love. This is the fire that transforms anger into determination, sadness into ecstasy, fear into excitement. I am enveloped in gratitude and joy at the blessing this experience has brought me.
It was a weekend unlike any other I have experienced. During a time of incredible difficulty and significance, I had enrolled in this intensive from a space of deep yearning in my heart. I was craving love beyond all perceived beliefs, understanding beyond all confusion, truth beyond all of the questions.
It was a safe and nurturing space to be completely vulnerable, to be held and supported while diving head first into all of the chaos clouding my internal world. It was home and family for 3 days, where together we reached levels of authentic intimacy that many may never reach in an entire lifetime.
With the guidance of a wise Shakti tantrika, and the assistance of a tangibly peaceful Shiva, we moved through the depths of the muddiest swamp. We embarked on a journey to discover our jewels, which rest in humble presence within the lotus flower.
Through unlocking an ocean of tears and awakening a volcano of rage, more than anything I wanted to escape. I wanted to run from the pain. I didn’t want to be seen or heard. It was too painful. I had to break down walls I didn’t realize were still there. I had to be present and allow the current to sweep me under, deeper and deeper until I felt I couldn’t breathe. There, in the darkness, is where I was able to find surrender. I allowed true acceptance of this pain, where it has been stored for so long, triggered by so many, and more recently had overwhelmed me in a way I have never known before. From that place of profound release, I took my first breath, like I had taken upon arriving in this world. With the support and love of all of those involved, I was able to be honest in facing the terror that had bestowed me. What happened when I did this? It transformed.
It transformed into deliciously orgasmic empowerment and wildly ecstatic bliss! It crawled through my body causing waves and ripples of stimulation, rewiring my being with a new understanding of pure self-love and devotion to the divine. It lit up like fireworks in my soul and sparked the vision in my third eye, heightening my intuition and yielding the gift of true forgiveness. It allowed me to dis-identify and step into the role of the observer. I was able to feel light and open again, to receive the infinite love surrounding me in every single moment. The weight of judgement and resentment fell away, leaving only this pink aura of unconditional love.
I witnessed so many others experience unimaginable transformations as well, as each beautiful soul meandered the murky swamp of their past to uncover the hidden treasure. The stories of the others' are etched forever in my heart, reminding me of empathy and compassion, and the blessings that come through every single child of this Earth.
We moved and breathed and sang and danced in unison. We melted into each others’ hearts. We listened attentively to each others’ inner child and stared through the window of the soul. We tasted the sweetest alchemy that comes with uniting our inner Shiva and Shakti in sacred union.
I bow with gratitude to Shakti Padmini, Nayano, Aly Khan, Bodhi Avinasha, my brothers and sisters who shared this journey with me, and in deep reverence for Mahavatar Babaji.
~As we cried, "All hail the enlightened ones!" and spiraled home to God(dess)~